A Milestone

Well, today was our 12 week appointment at our RE. (I actually had a mini panic attack last week, so I ended up having an unplanned week 11 visit as well.) And although I have convinced myself numerous times in the past 8 weeks that something must be wrong, all appears to be right on track. It's almost getting to the point that I am like, wow, I might really have a baby in June! Still not complete belief but have definite moments of hope. I am still not telling the masses. I don't feel comfortable talking openly about me actually having a baby. I am afraid if I get too confident, it will be taken away. I know it's silly, and I know that has no bearing on the outcome, but I am just a little gun shy.

So today I said good-bye to my RE Dr K. It was a surreal moment. I have been seeing this man like a two to three times a month since the summer. I didn't know what to say, so I told him, thank you so much for eveything and I hope I never see you again. :-) He laughed and said, i hope not either, but I hope you'll share pictures. Even leaving the office was odd - didn't have to stop at reception to set up my next appointment time, just slipped out like I had never been there.

Tomorrow I call Dr. D's office and tell them I am coming back and see when they want to see me. I am expecting some time in mid January. That will likely be another strange experience - going back there. I love Dr. D and can't wait to share this with her, but I am a little scared too. When I go back there, I become just another pregnant lady among a sea of pregnant women. I will lose my "handle with care" tag. I hope I am ready for that.

On the pregnancy front, still not feeling great. At times, I feel like my digestive track has completely shut down and everything just sits inside me. Not a good feeling. :-( No complaints though - I haven't missed any work yet and I am hopeful that I am just a couple weeks away from feeling much better.

Here are the much coveted 12 week photos.

1/4 of the Way There

Today was my 10 week appointment and exactly two weeks since we had last seen our little bean. I have been feeling pretty bad still, so I was fairly hopeful that things were continuing to progress. With my first miscarriage, when I made it to 9 1/2 weeks, my symptoms greatly subsided prior to finding out we had miscarried. As hoped, everything looked great. Our little guy was super active, flipping around and waving at us. I think giving us a little fist pump so we would know everything is alright. ;-) Heart beat was at 174 - which I thought seemed high, but my doctor assured me that it was great. Today was the first time that the nurse did my ultrasound rather than the doctor. When she walked in the room, I immediately asked if Dr K was there. She nicely said yes, but he's with other patients so I am going to take care of you today. That made me nervous - I wanted the doctor!! She was fine though and I stumped her at the end with some questions so we got to see the doctor anyways.


I asked about when I should stop taking the metformin. He said I could stop now, in his research, it doesn't reduce the risk of miscarriage. I asked him if I should wean off of it and he said, no, i could just stop. Then I asked him if it would be OK if i weaned off it. Stopping a medicine that impacts your hormones cold turkey seems like it could be a shock to the system. I know he is the doctor and all, but I will just feel better with the weaning. He said that was fine.


I asked about when I should stop taking the prometrium (progesterone). He said I could stop now. That one is just one pill a day, so can't really wean yourself off of it. So that one I will stop cold turkey. Maybe in one or two more nights - I am scared to change anything that I am doing! Then he asked if we were ready to go back to my OB. After exchanging glances, my husband and I agreed that we'd rather come back at 12 weeks for one more check. He was great about it and said, whenever I am ready.


So it still hasn't really sunk in - I still feel like I am an imposter for a pregnant woman. I am definitely not shouting it from the rooftops. I have a fairly large group of friends and family who
are intimately aware of our journey, so they all know, but I am definitely not to the point of telling people at work, casual acquaintances, etc. I just feel like if I tell these people, it will be taken away from me again. My general plan is to hold out until after the holidays - I am already starting to look like I ate the entire turkey on Thanksgiving, but hopefully I can continue to disguise it for the next few weeks. Oh yeah, and another really exciting announcement that I have been holding back. I found out right around the time that we were trying to conceive that my sister had gotten pregnant. It is her first as well and is also something of a miracle. We are two weeks apart....I just thing this has to be meant to be!


Here are baby's 10 week photos:
This is a hand (although i think it looks like a foot!)


Here he (ok, or she) is!